Dear Prick,
(No, I’m joking… but let’s be honest, if you’re my ex, there’s something to examine there, don’t you think? 😅)
Okay, let’s try again.
Dear Man-with-a-dick-and-no-brain…
Hmm, still not quite right (why is it so hard to say something nice!? One more try).
Dear You,
Once, we were as close as close can be. Your mouth locked with mine like a Tetris piece, your tongue halfway down my throat, and your trunk was in my…