I got it so wrong for 50 years! And the thing is that I did not want to be born! so my Mum had to spend over 20 hours in Hospital in 1974 with excruciating pain and no epidural!
Listen to the audio version here:
It was really dramatic and, of course, that she gave birth to a ‘scared to death’ baby (me) with a deformed head (my alien true nature perhaps?) caused by the forceps they used to take me out (true story).
That’s how I started life in this maniac world. Years followed full of weirdness, not belonging and a perpetual wanting to run away. I didn’t even know where, just…far away.
Ordinary Vs Not-ordinary Vs Extraordinary
Here’s what the dictionary says about ordinary: not different or special or unexpected in any way; usual.
So, not ordinary should be the opposite of that, right?
“different or special or unexpected; unusual.
And, therefore, we could also use ‘extraordinary’ since the definition is: beyond what is ordinary or usual; highly unusual or exceptional or remarkable.
OK. Rose, my lovely, can you now stop the self-arse-licking for a moment?
Yes, I can but I don’t want to.
Being extraordinary
Life is all about choice. We choose every time we open our mouth, with every word we say and even think! Of course that sometimes, certain circumstances out of our control can impact us heavily but still…you choose how to react to them. You have the power.
And I take that power to declare myself a completely ordinary woman (all natural by the way…sorry, had to plug that in) with an extraordinary life.
My life has been ‘beyond what’s ordinary’ (I just told you how I was born with an alien head, want more proof?). It has also been highly unusual. For instance, when all my friends went to University, I decided against everyone’s wishes, to just do nothing but find a boring boyfriend, 7 years older than me.
He was boring but had a nice dick and I learnt really well the art of sex making (sorry, love).
And, lastly, my life has been remarkable as fuck. I completely changed the course of my life at 46 and went from processing invoices 9 to 5 and struggle financially not making ends meet… to buying dildos and butt plugs, becoming an online model and youtuber and, now, at last, as it is written in the stars…becoming a best selling author (in the making).
I mean… a round of applause, please.
Am I delusional?
Most likely, yes. I think those forceps touched some of my human brain wiring at birth and, occasionally, short-circuits occur in my mind.
This is scientifically proven with Astrology (yes, it is a science…the most ancient of all). My Sun (self) is mathematically to the minute squaring Uranus (freedom, revolution, change) so my whole life has been swinging between what makes sense to the collective (to others, to the herd) and what doesn’t.
I love not making sense. Lol.
So, going back to extraordinary and, being a bit more serious… I am special, yes. But not the kind of special as in ‘better’ than anything or anyone… but the kind of special as in ‘different’ to the rest. That’s all.
Not a single drop of superiority here. Far from it.
Why wrong before 50?
Well, wrong is not the right word. Let’s say it took me nearly 50 year to really understand how life works. Now I do.
So not as much the ‘wrong life’ but just lessons to be learnt. It’s like I have been at school for 40+ years plodding along.
Now, I get to the middle of my life, look back, look right here and now…and I cannot believe what I see, so to speak.
Who the fuck am I? Who have I been?
And the most frightening thought…where am I going and why?
I invite you to make yourself these questions, sitting in silence. Thank me later.