Dead Bedroom, Bits and Boobs
Weekly Letter, May 31st, 2024
Now you can listen to me and read along too:
What a week! 😅Here in the UK it has been ‘half term’ which means kids are not in school. For some reason, when routine breaks up, I break down, lol.
I have had a few deep conversations with my subscribers this week. I have picked one of them given the similarities with so many others. But this one, really made me shiver. Let’s call him Pod (totally-made-up-name-that-is-not-even-a-name).
Monday was a bank holiday and I noticed the usual quietness on my OF page. No messages, no tips, no likes… it was a shame because I had planned a pyjama day and was ready for some convos 😀
Anyways, I logged in and out during the morning a couple of times and nothing going on so I decided to film a TRY ON video with some super sexy thongs that you can watch here this next Sunday.
I then cleaned a little bit the house (not my favorite thing to do to be honest) and then tuned on a podcast about consciousness and the shift in humanity (also have a video about that in my new practical mysticism channel).
At bed time, I logged in again and, as sometimes happens, Pod was online too so when I sent him a welcoming message to my page and a little ❤️.
He replied with:
“Hey gorgeous, thank you for that welcoming message, I really could do with some love”
I replied:
“Sending you lots!! Are you ok?” - I sensed something… that’s is not a usual response.
I won’t type the whole response as it was quite lengthy but, in a nutshell, he said:
“I have been following you for 2 years on IG and finally decided to join your page. I was scared and felt really guilty but I cannot take this situation anymore. I am 46 and I haven’t had sex with my wife in 6 years. I am starting to think about divorce but, every time I bring it up, she keeps saying sex is not important and I don’t love her if I cannot accept that. I do love her dearly. She’s the mother of our children but I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this”.
My heart went down to him 🥹
Dead Bedroom Syndrome
This is not the first time I have this type of conversation, in fact, it is painfully common. What’s not common in this society is a man opening up and speaking out about it, right?
Saying that, I find that, somehow, I offer a space where it is easy to open up (that’s real feedback I received by the way).
I was in a dead bedroom too and I was also 46 when I had that same thought: “Am I going to live the rest of my life like this?”.
It is a controversial topic and, if we add religion into the mix, then we’re screwed up.
Luckily, my religion is No-religion (so you know) so I did not have any hesitation myself that something had to be done about it.
Not only was not fair for me but for him!
However, I was the ‘offending’ part, the one who went to bed earlier to avoid the encounter. The one who had the headache today and the back pain tomorrow. That one. And yet, it was me who decided to end things…
That’s not the norm either. I know. But I am not ‘normal’.
I won’t judge anyone as everyone of us has their own journey but, as the offending part, you should not impose on the other your own choices.
In this case, the choice of not wanting to have sex with your husband anymore.
The Guilt trip
It gets more and more complicated as the conversation develops. Not only one person is assuming her choices have to be abided by because there is an agreement called marriage but, what’s worse, she plays the guilt trip as well.
I won’t get into details with this because I am sure you all know what I am talking about here, sadly.
Not to mention family implications, financial commitments and, overall, a complicated situation.
Having said that… you can do anything you want to do if you want to do it.
IT.CAN.BE.DONE.
And I know how.
What are you talking about?
I am working on something really cool that you’ll have the privilege to have first when I am done with it.
It is a “Practical Guide to Become a Best Version of Yourself”😃
This has been my journey these last few years. The woman who put herself together and left that dead bedroom was an apprentice compared to who I am today.
Hopefully I am not sounding too mug or full of myself (funny English language 😂) but that is honestly the way I feel.
Not only that, but also feel that calling to share what I have learnt, implemented, experienced and achieved to others.
So…enough of these bits…wait for it, I am really excited with this project 🥰
The Boobs
I am not forgetting the tittle of this Letter, there is a reason for it. Sense of humour is something I (try to) incorporate into my every day life in every (possible) situation.
It is unbelievably helpful to navigate through life.
So I have written this post about my boobs because I find it interesting and I am sure it’ll make you smile (maybe? 😬)
With nothing else to report today, I send you a virtual hug and lots of love ❤️
R.