From Grunts to DMs: Eroticism Through the Ages

Cave Paintings🖌️ to OnlyFans 😆

🎧Audio Version available at the bottom

I am 51 and sometimes I can be a little bit boring by repeating it, I know. Apologies for that but, man! it is a big deal! I just read someone else’s post about ‘turning 50 and being depressed’ and, believe me, I get it. I personally know that feeling of: “Is this really happening? I was 25 last week, FFS!”.

I had to reply to that and said: “Well, just go and have a wander through a cemetery and the depression will go away instantly.”

Also, I had a Great-grandmother who died quite old in her 90s and dreaded getting old. She used to look herself in the mirror and cry: “What’s happened to me? Why do I look like this?” Those words stuck with me.

Back then, I didn’t really get it. I just thought: “Bless her, she’s right. She was a beautiful young lady and now she looks like one of those old apples you find at the bottom of the fruit bowl”.

I never told her that, of course.

But now, decades later, I wonder if her misery was really about wrinkles or if it was about something deeper, about losing her sense of self, her sensuality, her womanhood.

After all, this was a woman who hated sex and couldn’t stand her husband. She was disgusted by desire, repelled by her own body, and trapped in a world where female pleasure was a dirty little secret.

But was that just her? Or was it the time she lived in? What if she had been born in Ancient Greece, where eroticism was celebrated? Or in the Renaissance, where beauty and desire were immortalized in marble? Or even today, where OnlyFans has made sexual expression a business model? (maybe she would have had one 🤔 I have to have it from somewhere in my DNA).

Maybe her story isn’t just about aging or an unhappy marriage. Maybe it’s part of a much bigger narrative, one that’s been evolving since the dawn of humanity. After all, the way we see ourselves, our bodies, and our desires is shaped by the world we live in. And that story is far more fascinating (and a lot juicier) than we often realize.

So, I assume that, being a Midlife Erotica reader, you surely are in a healthy relationship with your sexuality 🤓.

So, how did we go from worshipping desire to hiding it behind closed doors... and then putting it online for everyone to see?

Eroticism Through the Ages

I know, there are plenty of things more important in life. But isn’t life a complex mix of variables and perspectives?

Let’s have a stroll down history lane but don’t worry, not boring dates and statistics or peer reviewed data. No, we’re tracing a much spicier history and focus on how eroticism has evolved, twisted, and turned through time, making our ancestors blush and giggle just like we do today.

The Caveman Era: Grunt If You’re Horny

How did it all begin, way back in the Stone Age? 🤔

I imagine two cave people eyeing each other across a campfire. He’s holding a half-eaten mammoth leg, she’s rocking a fur that honestly looks a lot like a dead bear. Romantic, right? Yet somehow, sparks flew. Erotic tension was as real back then as it is today, except there were no words to express it, just grunts and gestures. I imagine the first flirtation went something like: Grunt. Grunt. Head nod. Mammoth leg offer. Grunt.

And before you know it, they’re mating like rabbits on a National Geographic special.

The thing is, even without poetry or sexting, those primitive humans were doing exactly what we’re doing now, connecting, yearning, and giving in to desire. Only difference? They didn’t have to worry about swiping right or double texting. They just clubbed each other on the head and got on with it. Simpler times, honestly (sigh!).

Ancient Civilizations: Gods, Orgies, and Pottery Porn

Fast forward a few thousand years, and things get a bit more...sophisticated? The Ancient Greeks and Romans didn’t just embrace eroticism, they threw wild parties in its honor. They worshipped Gods of love and desire, like Aphrodite and Eros, painting their adventures on pottery in explicit detail.

Yes, you heard that right. We’re talking ancient porn on vases. Imagine having your morning coffee out of a mug decorated with a graphic orgy scene. It was so socially accepted! What’s happened to us!?

Back then, eroticism was tied to fertility, prosperity, and even political power. They understood that desire wasn’t just a dirty little secret, it was part of being human, something to be celebrated.

And they weren’t shy about it, either. Those toga parties were wild. Plato may have been contemplating the meaning of life, but he’d surely had his “receiving head” moments too. Even philosophers need a little fun.

The Middle Ages: Shame and Guilt (and Probably Bad Hygiene)

Then came the Middle Ages, everyone’s least favorite chapter in history. Blame religion or blame bad plumbing, but the vibe definitely changed. Sex became a sin, and eroticism was tucked away behind layers of shame and itchy wool tunics. People were getting married at 14 and having 12 kids, but somehow nobody was supposed to enjoy the process.

But human nature is somehow a mindfuck thing. Even under the religious dogma, people found ways to express their desires. I am sure there was an equivalent to Onlyfans back then in the form of secret doors and passages at nigh time.

Secret love letters, romantic poetry, and yes, even dirty jokes, because let’s face it, humor and horniness have always gone hand in hand. Even if you were a medieval peasant with no teeth and a lice problem you still got horny and had to get head (or rather give it with those features 🤣).

The Renaissance: Art, Beauty, and “I Swear It’s For Educational Purposes”

Thank the Gods for the Renaissance! Suddenly, eroticism was back in style, and this time, it was classy. Artists like Michelangelo and Botticelli were painting nudes left and right. Of course, they called it “celebration of the human form” because it sounded classier, but let’s be real, they knew exactly what they were doing, they were also horny bastards like you and me.

This was the era of exploration of bodies, emotions, and new ways of thinking. People were learning to read, to think for themselves (I think sadly most did not get a pass on that and still don’t nowadays🙄) and yes, to get turned on by beautifully sculpted marble butts.

The Victorian Era: Buttoned Up and Horny as Hell

Ah, the Victorians. So prim and proper on the outside, so absolutely filthy on the inside. They covered piano legs because they were considered too risqué😆. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they were writing some of the dirtiest, most poetic erotica the world had ever seen.

This era was all about repression, and the more you repress, the stronger the desire gets (wait, that sounds awfully familiar). It was in the hidden notes, in the forbidden glances, in the way they found 100 different ways to describe sex without ever saying the word. Victorian erotica was the original Only-fanfiction.

The 20th Century: From Pin-Up Girls to Playboy

Fast forward now to the roaring 20th century, and eroticism had a revolution. With more freedom and fewer corsets, people were ready to have some fun. From pin-up girls to Marilyn Monroe’s iconic skirt moment, sexuality was out in the open, flirtatious and playful (or sort of).

Then came Playboy, changing the game by making eroticism mainstream. It was sophisticated, glossy, and just a little bit naughty, erotica for the gentleman’s coffee table. People were buying it “for the articles,” of course, but let’s not kid ourselves. This was the era of liberation, experimentation, and a whole lot of polyester.

The Digital Age: Sexts, DMs, and OnlyFans

And here we are, in the age of instant gratification. Nowadays, eroticism is just a swipe away. We’ve got sexts, DMs, and subscription-based content that lets you see things your ancestors had to risk being cast out of their communities for exploring their desires.

Today, the rules have changed, but the judgment remains. We’re not being kicked out of the church anymore (well, most of us who don’t even step into it in the first place); we’re just unfollowed, blocked, or branded as ‘shameless.’ Same shame, new methods.

Anyways, even with all this access, we’re still chasing the same thing, connection, excitement, fantasy and that indescribable thrill of anticipation.

But here’s the twist: Even in this digital landscape, eroticism is still about curiosity, imagination, and exploration. It’s not just about what you see but how it makes you feel. It’s the mystery, the tease, the thrill of the unknown.

My Philosophical View: What It All Means

So, what does all this history teach us? Erotic desire has always been there, scratched on cave walls, whispered in poetry, painted on pottery, and now typed out in emojis and hashtags. It’s a part of who we are, not just biologically but spiritually and emotionally.

Eroticism isn’t just about sex. It’s about longing, curiosity, and the joy of being alive. It’s a reminder that we are not just minds but bodies, too. Bodies that want to feel, to touch, to be touched. It’s the most human thing in the world.

And maybe that’s why, no matter how advanced our technology gets, we still write love letters, we still blush, we still flirt, and we still yearn…although we don’t use paper and pen but screens and fingertips. Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to connect, to be seen, to be understood.

So, whether you’re a caveman with a grunt or a millennial with a DM, eroticism is the universal language that ties us all together. And isn’t that a beautiful thing? Or at the very least... a pretty entertaining one?😄

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