I don't wanna lose you but I actually DO

Go, if you have to go

I have recently got in touch with an old friend of mine. We met in 1998 (ouch, that sounds soooo far back!). He was at the time a musician with crazy hair and was looking for a female singer for his band. He had a contract with a shipping line that wanted an orchestra for the entertainment department.

I was heartbroken at that time as I had been in a relationship with another musician (of-bloody-course). This time was a long-haired drummer

(what’s that obsession with hairs?!).

He never left me and neither did I, we just drifted apart… (well, truth be said, because he started ignoring me and one million other things happened, lol, but not the place to bitch about that now).

So I heard about him, Luis, looking for a singer and there I went to his parent’s house, to his bedroom where he had his piano and wanted to audition me.

We were so young - she says with watery nostalgic eyes 🥹

I’ll save you the story but, essentially, off I went, sang and was hired! 🥳

I couldn’t really wait to runaway and show that jerk of a drummer I did not need his shit anymore!

And going on a cruise on the Mediterranean sounded pretty appealing right? I was going to live there and sing every single night for a few hours having the rest of the day free to go and explore (Mallorca, Nice, Livorno, Rome, Tunisia…).

Here we are, young as daisies, Luis and I

It was awesome.

I mean, no joke, that was, if not the most, one of the most exciting periods of my life. Something I will always cherish (even in my next lifetimes).

An experience like that, I tell you, is worth more than entire lives from birth to death of any of my ancestors. I nailed it. It lasted one whole year.

So Luis and I met there and then and off we went to that cruise, the “Don Juan”.

Fast Forwarding to 2025…

Otherwise I’ll end up writing a Bible size email that would certainly give for a Netflix series way more interesting than what’s currently there showing, lol (allow me this bath of self-love, please).

Time has certainly passed big time since that year and, as it happens, Luis is now a successful writer, psychologist, sexologist and a few more “-ist”s as well as a great guy very fun to be around with.

He has a Seduction School of sorts called Egoland Seduction and, I regret to say that he has a big big flaw (sorry, Luis) he does not speak English. Not well enough to offer his wisdom and knowledge anyways. And that sucks.

I would love to recommend HIM and his skills to all of you who read me or follow me because I know for a fact, all of us could do with a boost of self-confidence and self-worth (me included).

By the way, he is the most confident guy I have ever met in my life and, trust me, that is innate because cazillion years back when he was at his parent’s bedroom playing music and smoking weed he was already THAT confident.

He thinks he’s the best and he is. Period. So gimme a bite of that please!

I know…I was fucking sexy

Anyways… I made a video yesterday for my Spanish speaking followers (who more than once asked me why not creating content in Spanish) and it is available here, in case you’re one of them.

BY THE WAY, A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

Substack has now the translate language feature!! So you can actually read my emails in your own language!! (as long as it is available, they are still trying it out)

As usual, when I make a video where there is no “meat” involved (as in I don’t show legs or something) the views are low and I lose followers haha

Well, in this case, it is obvious that only people who speak Spanish will want to watch but still, same happened with my video about “How To Treat a Woman”.

I don't wanna lose you but I actually do

Why this tittle? Easy. Carry on reading…

I am sick of the way this world operates and I don’t want to sound negative (that is the last thing I allow to feed myself with) but let’s get real.

The reality is that this outside world around us is so perverted and dysfunctional that is sickening and I personally choose not participating in the madness but also doing whatever is in my hands to better it.

Hence the obsession (like a real burning desire) to go “the other way” so to speak.

I have recently graduated in my imagination and I now hold a PhD (yep, I know, wild huh?) in “personal achievement” and in “myself” - so I actually might even hold 2 PhDs.

Listen to this: there is no other way in the whole Universe to change anything (let alone the whole world) that it does not start in changing yourself.

You know that all the quotes from ancient wise people and geniuses are true, right?

Be the change that you wish to see in the world

Attributed to Gandhi and re-formulated in one million other ways.

Here are some that Google has spat out for me:

1. Albert Einstein: "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."

2. Nelson Mandela: "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead."

3. Mother Teresa: "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."

4. John F. Kennedy: "Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country."

5. Buddhist Proverb: "If you want to change the world, start with yourself."

There is no other way folks.

Most people spend their lives complaining about everything and blaming on someone or something else the reason they are not where they want to be or they are not loved as they want to be loved, or treated, or regarded as… it is all because of…

her, him, them, this, that, the weather, my family, my wounds, this thing that happened to me, those words they said to me… and on, and on, and on…

Cut that crap! Knock it off!

Start looking within for fuck sake!

(chill dear Rose! 🙄)

You can leave me or support me

So, my message to you today is this:

I don’t want to lose you as a follower/admirer/reader/subscriber (call it X) but, at the same time, if your life path does not allow you to be interested in the philosophy of life (as much as I reiterate that having fun and being frisky 🍆has also its moments and place), if whenever I just talk instead of modelling bikinis you get bored as fuck…I won’t get offended, just unsubscribe and forget about me or what I do. No hard feelings.

I’ll keep doing my thing because that is what I came here to do.

I am a Truth seeker and I specialize in myself.

• Wait, what? Yourself? And why would I care then?😣

Specializing in oneself is what we all must aim for and, in gaining that wisdom, then you can pass it over to others. And that is what I do.

I have a personal and intimate motivation to do this, to teach people how life works and how to become a better version of themselves. Just as I have done, anyone with the will to do it, can.

One of my "summa cum laude” in my PhD (allow me to carry on with the semi-joke) is “how to leave a sexless marriage successfully with love and thrive as a family living apart”.

Sorry, a bit of a long name there.

Stay tuned for the book/guide that is coming out soon about this topic but let me tell you a non-secret secret:

Any solution to any problem starts by working on yourself.

If you don’t raise your self-awareness and strive for personal growth, you’ll stay in a mediocre state of being. Stuck in a rut. Wishing for things happening “one day”…one day that probably will never come.

Seduce Yourself is what Egoland Seduction uses as slogan and I find it really on point. If you want to seduce somebody else, you’ll have to seduce yourself first.

Seduction is a complex process that begins with the relationship we have with ourselves. It is essential to discover our strengths and what makes us attractive, as well as to learn how to communicate them.

Erotica Story

Now…🙄 Youtube has demonetized me AGAIN and I am done. More about this to come but I want to anticipate that I’ll be setting up the paid feature here in Substack.

Some people pledged for me so, please, be aware that if I turn paid option on, you’ll be charged. I said I would announce it beforehand so here I am.

I am an artist at heart. I am in the zone when I write and create and I need to proof myself that, as a Capricorn, I can achieve whatever I put my mind into.

I will share my erotica stories with my paid members here as well as exclusive posts that are way too personal and emotional at times.

I still be doing Onlyfans because I am a woman who enjoys sex and erotica and who likes to masturbate and film it and, mind you, who also needs money to live.

Youtube seems not to be willing to collaborate with that and I am putting a lot of effort and creativity lately in my videos so I feel quite deflated today seeing how stigma is real regardless of trying hard to juggle and avoid the censorship.

Sex is still taboo ☹️

I leave right HERE IN THIS LINK the type of erotica stories I’ll include only for paid members so you can see if it rocks your boat. It is “My First Time” and it is FREE access.