Kindness is Sexy and Owning your Truth also is
Weekly Letter, 01 November, 2024
There is this tough guy in a uniform (uniforms are hot, yes, veryš¤·š»āāļø) and there has been an incident in a marginal spot in the city (New York, I think).
He shows up there with his partner (also in uniform) and they find a kid whoās been shot (I know š«¤).
He carries the kid in his arms and run to the hospital and when he gets there the medical staff tell him they donāt take shot wounds anymore as emergencies š³
(this part was hard to understand for me as it was an American movie and I havenāt got a clue how things work over there if I am honest, that would never happen on this side of the world)
Point isā¦
The guy gets angry and calls them out amazed at how they can turn a kid who is dying down when he needs urgent help (!?)
The nurse explains something along the lines of that kid being a crook and a future troublemakerā¦she says that, in the future, he might shoot HIM (the guy) and that he would not hesitate in doing soā¦
As inā¦are you sure you want to āsave himā? š³
{guy looks the kid in the eye and replies}
Yes, I am sure and you are now going to save him cause he is just a kid and if you donāt help him now, heās going to die.
THAT moment.
THAT reaction.
THAT behaviour.
THAT attitude.
That is sexy as hell let me tell you.
It made me realise how many unimportant things most people give value to are justā¦ nonsense.
Because the most important stuff is usually invisible.
It is a look, a word, an attitude, an actionā¦
But there is moreā¦
More kindness
So, if you follow me on the subscription platforms, youāll know big changes have gone on in my life.
I only share these things in there and not in stupid, mindless, nonsensical social media (oops, did I just say that out loud?).
{At some point Iāll get all this out of my chest, just not yet}
Anyway, point being, I have not been able to make certain content that I have been requested (custom videos that is) and so, I was a bit worried the delivery time was too much.
I then contacted this particular person whoās ordered a video explaining and apologising that I needed a bit of time (he wasnāt at all putting any pressure to start with but still).
His responseā¦š Let-Me-Speechless
He was extremely (yes, that much) kind, understanding, relaxed, lovingā¦and same feeling flooded all my senses.
My thought: āWow, thatās sexy as hellā
Somehow I have been having these āacts of kindnessā (thereās more but need to be concise here) showing up in my reality and it has made me really reflect on so many things!
Nowā¦letās talk about Fear
Ouch, yes, big shift.
From kindness to fear, right?
And here comes the sexual talk too (not forgetting why most of you follow me for).
As I have said before 5 years ago I was commuting to a 9-5 job, fucking about through invoices and excel sheets, 25 days holidays per year, Xmas lunches and all that jazz.
Which, I have to say, has absolutely nothing wrong in itself as long as you do that with JOY.
I wasnāt having JOY anymore and then a tsunami hit (more of all this in my upcoming book) and it all changed so I became an adult content creator.
Like thatš„.
During this time I went through an awakening (and I am aware for most this sounds hoppus-pocus and, if youāre not AT ALL spiritual in any way, youāll stop reading right this secondā¦whatever!).
So, in short, I found myself contributing to the sex/p0rn (although quite mild) industry and, at the same time, connecting to a higher power, a higher version of myself, so to speak.
For a period I thought this was incompatible and I found myself divided, contradicted, troubled, guiltyā¦ all over the place.
That voice we all have in our heads was saying things like:
What the fuck are you doing? Whatās your purpose?
{purposeā¦dangerous word when not fully understood}
I could not find āpurposeā in posting teasing content on the internet to attract subscribers and try to make a living out of it.
What am I providingā¦ of value?
How can nudes give any value?
The sex industry is such an issue in this society!
(this is a fact in the collective consciousness and so my voice was wanting me to believe that, but it did not succeed).
I WAS LIVING IN FEAR
Not a big revelation or discovery here.
We all live in fear. One way or another.
The model of society we live in is based on fear, greed and love for power.
And thenā¦we get what we getā¦(look around).
My (main) fear was that if I showed the real ME (like I am doing right this moment), I would be self-sabotaging my ābusinessā and, therefore, my survival.
Letās not be too cryptic:
No subscribers = No money
Since I donāt have a ānormalā job anymore, that means poverty, right? š
Black and White Thinking
Of course that I was thinking in black and white, good and bad, left and right, this and thatā¦
Duality. Division.
And that, my friends, does not do us any favours.
That thinking brings wars, violence and fundamentalism.
This duality thinking is feeding separation and competition rather than unity and collaboration.
BUT, I am talking about myself here (since it is my bloody letter).
How have I then managed to make peace with it?
Understanding the Universal Law of Polarity.
Game changer.
I will explain the Laws to you soon.
āThe Other Wayā was born
After a lot of reflection and āall-over-the-place-nessā (and the understanding of the game of life)
I am at peace now.
I never did things as I was supposed to (yes, I was always an outsider or in-betweener).
In Spanish we use the term āperro verdeā (green dog) which meansā¦youāre just weird and different.
And soā¦why not honoring my skill?
So here I am, being all philosophical and totally absorbed in metaphysical materials and soul workā¦
AND
at the same time
working in the sex industry.
Some spiritual/New Age/Woke people would be hitting the roof right now if they are reading this š
Sounds like a Nun in a brothelš¤£š¤£
Friends, there is always another way and my way is not toxic duality anymore where you cannot be ādecentā and embrace and enjoy your sexuality or even being promiscuousā¦ because, you know, if youāre ādecentā you donāt do certain jobs and you just marry a ādecentā man, build a family and go to Church on Sundays.
Well, fuck that.
Fuck your non-sensical worn-out patriarchal narrow thinkingā¦I go the other way.
The way that makes sense.
I married a man that I still love as a human and father of my children so weāre not together anymore but we are co-parenting and we are nailing it.
How? Doing it the other way.
I call it the Aquarian Family (more on this to come).
I sell my nudes and sexual content on the internet because there are many men out willing to pay for it and the keyword here is thatā¦
After all, they are not even in need of p0rn (which is literally free anyway) they need connection, attentionā¦they need to learn how to connect to a higher self and take on the power they donāt even know they have.
Essentially, most (not all of you, I know) are living an unhappy unfulfilling life and in that search for ā¦something, so you turn to sex (or food, or work, or drink, or drugs, or shoppingā¦)
Why?
Because it is part of being human and it is necessary.
So here I am wanting to defeat the duality and speak in polarity terms.
Nothing is good or bad.
So sex is not bad.
P0rn is not bad either.
The reason behind āneedingā it and becoming an addiction IS.
You just need to find the other way with your sexual needs too.
Starting by owning these needs and getting rid of guilt and shame.
Quite a long letter today I feelā¦
I can help you to do that.
To work on yourself as I (and will always continue to) work on myself because now I know how.
So this is the time where I get rid of my fear to show who I am and/or what I do.
Youāre more than welcome to stay or leave. Your choice.
About telling me your story
I had some emails in response to my past letters asking if it is OK to tell me your story or ask me a question.
I donāt respond to individual emails (just too many) but, in short, absolutely YES.
Please do, just reply to this one and it will reach me.
Have a great weekend my friend.
Love,
Rose š¹