Warning: I am peri-menopausal, spiritually/existentially wobbly, and terrified to death of change.
What?
Did you think I had mastered the art of being “happy-as-a-bunny”?
🚨Wrong!!.
(Sigh) Isn’t it a lovely day today? 😅
Also… it’s Halloween. (Meh.)
I never celebrated it in Spain and barely did here in the UK.
It always felt a bit silly to me - but hey, what do I know?
Yet here I am with an unopened witch costume and green face paint because apparently I impulse-buy my identity these days.
(Like… 90% of my purchases lately 🫤)
I watched Wicked recently and got obsessed (dangerously obsessed😅) with the soundtrack. The second movie is coming out next month and I’m already emotionally… let’s say “self-soothing intensely” to the song For Good.
(If you know Spanish women in midlife, you know we are dramatic. You’re welcome.)
Here’s the thing:
I keep talking about connecting to that invisible part of ourselves - soul, spirit, energy, the quiet inner field, strudleweiden (why not)… whatever name fits you.
And in midlife? That whisper becomes a megaphone.
I am having so many “Aha!” moments lately it’s becoming comical.
One of them: I am not a machine. I am not a productivity algorithm. I am a woman whose hormones are auditioning for American Horror Story.
And sometimes I just need to REST.
To be quiet.
To stop producing and think and breathe and… be a human.
No one tells us that.
No one says, “Dear Rose, pause. Come back tomorrow. Or next week. Rest.”
Instead, there’s that lovely inner drill sergeant (voice in my head) listing 687 things I “have to” do.
I am rebelling against her.
I deserve silence while I recharge my soul.
And so do you.
So on this very dark, very witchy Halloween evening where it feels like midnight at 5pm… I’m sharing a little snippet of For Good.
Listen to the lyrics. Really listen. 😍
“I’VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED
TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON’T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT’S TRUE
BUT I KNOW I’M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I’VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD”
Maybe you’re here, reading and listening to this, for a reason… don’t you think?
I’m going to go cry beautifully like the dramatic Spanish woman I am until sleep claims me.
Good night, lovely soul.
Love,
Rose 🌹
