People Pleasing Burn Out
A breakthrough, I hope.
It has been hard to recognize but I finally have.
I thought I was already aware of it and, at some extent, I was. I knew that I am more a giver than a taker. I am one of those people who always goes: “sorry to bother you…” because I think I am actually bothering, like I am a nuisance, a disturbance…what a harmful thought to have, right!?
So I started learning to “take” (and I set up my Wishlist, lol) by making it something physical or, rather, material. Accepting gifts - yes, I am that typical girl who when somebody asks: what do you want for your birthday? Always says: “Nothing, I don’t need anything”.
Do you know what’s implied and unsaid in that sentence?
This: “I really don’t want you to spend any money (or energy) on me because…I am not worth it!”.
Wow. Shocking. Where’s my self-esteem? I thought I had an “excellent” on that department and it turns out I barely get a pass!
Which brings me to my burn out and people pleasing.
I have no healthy boundaries. I don’t ‘protect’ myself from the energy fields out there. As a digital creator, my job consists on ‘creating content’ on several platforms (basically on the whole of the Internet) and, as such, people (you) decide freely to support (or buy) whatever it is on offer - allow me some basic concepts to get to the point, please.
As it happens, I am one and you are many.
So far, I thought I was good with boundaries because, sometimes and to some things, I say: NO (that magic word!). For example to custom videos or certain fetish or backdoor content…you get the gist.
However, that turns out not to be enough “NO’s” and when I say “many of you” is a lot, so, as a people pleaser, I find it hard to say no when I am told:
Can you wear flip-flops?🩴
Why are you not going LIVE!?🎥
Why have you stopped doing X or Z?
Can you make feet content?🦶🏻
Can you make bubbles in the bath for me?🫧
Can I see you doing a cartwheel in pantyhose? 🤸♀️
(this last one is made-up for a little giggle but the other aren’t!).
But so you get what I mean, the list is never-ending... and, when it is a reasonable request…how to say No when you wanna please??
Well, you can’t, so you end up saying: “Oh great idea, will do” - and then I am screwed up 😖
Wait, wait! Not what you think…
Yes, it can be that people get disappointed with me for saying “Yes” and then not providing, that’s fair enough and it is completely my fault and hopefully something I am correcting from now on.
But what is that causing in myself? Burn Out. Really badly.
I put on my own shoulders a weight I cannot actually carry and so I go through life dragging on instead of walking so to speak and, what’s worse, even if I DO SOME STUFF ( believe me when I tell you that I am almost 24/7 with the mind on override) it is never enough and the underlaying feeling I carry all day long is: “I don’t get anything done and so, I am stuck”.
The reality is that I am getting myself stuck by trying to drag 2 tones of weight when I can only carry 10 Kg.
You cannot please every one
And that’s reality. It is impossible so what is the solution? Boundaries. Saturn - as my Astrologer self knows very well. Organisation, structure and sensible limits.
This job of creating content (adult or not) is relatively new, right? So it still needs adjustments I suppose. Not only on my side but in yours as well.
Some of you are really good at it and understand boundaries, others don’t.
Somebody commented this on my Youtube channel in response to my video about “Question ME”:
He then subscribed to one of my Paid Pages saying this (he had been subscribed before):
What more can I say? He’s made my day and let me now tell you something you might or might not know… that’s sexy. Kindness is sexy. A good heart with love and good intention is really sexy and I think most men don’t grasp that…yet.
Wishing you a great week ahead 😁
I’ll be meeting with an old friend of mine (we nearly had sex once but…we didn’t because, surprisingly, and being both quite happy and bubbly that night - you-know-what-I-mean 🍸🍹🥂, I actually withdraw very elegantly).
I tell the story 🫢in a video on my paid page (teaser here)
Love,
Rose 🌹