Porn isn't the problem. Awareness is.

Desire Isn’t the Enemy

This wasn’t supposed to be a product even though it looks like one now.

There is one thing that happens when you reach a certain level of awareness about something: once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Over the last few years, I’ve had hundreds of conversations with men. Different ages, different countries, different life situations. And yet, for the majority, the same themes kept repeating themselves underneath the surface.

For some, confusion and restlessness.
For most, a constant pull toward screens, fantasy and stimulation (and with a strange emptiness afterward).

For almost everyone... numbness.

This experience along with my own intimate family story of lives half lived... crawls under my skin (and then I wonder what’s wrong with my face!😓).

At first - and bearing in mind I have been selling fantasy online for 6 years - I thought this was just “how things are now.” The price of living online. But the more I reflected about it, the clearer it became that something deeper was happening... not to a few men, but to many.

And guess what! This isn’t even about sex.

That might sound strange coming from me, but it’s true.

What I kept realizing, the more I thought and researched, was that it wasn’t excess desire (or what society loves to label as “sex” or “porn addiction”) but misdirected desire.

Attention being pulled outward, fragmented, hijacked by an environment that profits from distraction while quietly draining people of energy, clarity, and presence.

That alone is concerning enough to waste (or ruin) a life without someone even realizing it.

But what’s even more troubling is what’s happening in the background: a mostly predatory adult industry that lacks integrity left, right, and center - among many other values 🙄.

So we have a world where many men feel lost and lonely among millions of pixels and endless scrolling.

And worse... they are being targeted.

Targeted by everyone.

By most creators who lack empathy and care only about themselves and their business.

And by out-of-control scammers - entire call centers with thousands of arrows aimed at vulnerable men.

(And yes, sadly, this happens in many industries too, in different ways).

At some point, I started feeling like the tiniest ant standing between a crowd of old tigers drooling over thirst traps and a pack of wolves drooling over prey (do you get the visual?).

Thank You AI! Yep, that’s me.

Twice now, two people (a daughter and a son) subscribed to my page just to message me. Both were terrified that their fathers (in their 70s) were “talking to me” online and had fallen in love 🤦‍♀️

One was about to fly somewhere to meet “me.”
Another sent money to someone using a fake passport - with my picture.🫥

(I made Youtube videos about this by the way).

And I could just look the other way which is what everyone does. I could go on with my online business as usual ( with integrity and clear values), make my bag and go on holiday to Mauritius.

But I can’t.

I don’t want to.

So here I am, writing a guide to get as many men as possible a little bit more aware.

I’m not naïve. I know that many men may already be a lost cause and painfully so.

(In those cases, the fathers didn’t even want to believe it, even after I sent them a video explaining everything🙈)

And yes, my hopes aren’t sky-high. Humans tend to look away rather than face uncomfortable truths or take responsibility.

But if this helps even a few, it matters.

What’s the solution?

I believe there’s only one: awareness.

Most of these men (and none of us really) were never taught how to understand their own desire - only how to suppress it, joke about it, or outsource it to fantasy. And in a world of endless stimulation, that becomes a problem very quickly.

I’m not interested in shaming desire or pretending fantasy doesn’t exist. I work inside this ecosystem. I see it from the inside and the outside. And I like to name things by its name (usually bluntly, sorry).

What I am interested in is AWARENESS.

Because desire, when it isn’t understood, doesn’t disappear... it leaks. Into scrolling, into compulsive habits, into loneliness, into scams, into a quiet loss of dignity and self-respect.

And I reached a point where staying silent felt like complicity (that is what my “Fed up with the Beast” video was about).

So I wrote A Man’s Guide to the Online Fantasy as a kind of flashlight.

Not to tell men what to do (God forbid!😅) but to help them see what’s actually happening. To understand the difference between horniness and hunger. Between fantasy and intimacy. Between business and real connection.

This guide talks about attention and energy.
About how easily life force gets misdirected online.

It asks uncomfortable but necessary questions, not to punish, but to orient.

If you’ve ever felt overstimulated but under-fulfilled…
If you’ve noticed desire pulling you in circles instead of forward…
If something about modern intimacy feels “off” but you can’t quite name why…

Then this was written for you (or surely you know someone who feels like that).

I’m sharing the kindle version today for FREE* 👇.

No tricks. I promise you’ll also have a giggle 🤭

Just one favor: read it. And if you find value, leave a review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

That’s what helps this message travel further.

I would really appreciate it 💞

As always, take what’s useful. Leave the rest.

Love,

Rose 🌹

Here’s the video version 👇