Reframing pretty much everything

and I mean...E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G

Hi lovelies, I’ve been quiet for a week or so. I hope you’ve missed me 😌.

Life is a beautiful thing when you start to understand it. It’s like finally finding that book you swore was somewhere in your house. “Ah-ha! I knew it!” (No, you didn’t, you clueless smartass, you just got lucky).

Now, let me eat your ear for a second, pretty please. I know you get a hard-on when I go mystic, just admit it. And if you don’t, I’ll play the slutty mystic instead and see if that works for you 😉.

If you’ve ever listened to astrologers, esoteric nerds, or those weirdos who talk to the stars, you know we’re living through one of the biggest shifts in human history. And if you haven’t listened to them at all, well, I assume you have a pair of eyes and can see that the world has gone completely off its rocker. Like, full-blown what-the-actual-fuck mode.

But here’s the thing: it’s all good. It’s actually perfect. This is the necessary chaos before the shift.

🫣 What shift, Miss?

The shift in consciousness, sweety.

BUT (fat BUT) I’ve had a little realization. I’ve been running around for a while now, preaching like some spiritual Miss Universe, thinking I was here to save the world. 🙄

And then I woke up…(again)

I was out there thinking I was some divine messenger, ready to hold humanity’s hand through its great awakening… until I realized most people don’t even want to wake up. They just want their Starbucks order to be right, their WiFi to work and their quick wank on Onlyfans.

So (apologies for what’s coming out of my mouth next) here’s my grand revelation after all my years of deep study, reflection, and mystical downloads:

✨ FUCK THE FUCKETY FUCK. ✨

That’s right. Because here’s what I realized:

When I was little, I was ugly and fat. Now I’m 51, and, somehow, thousands of men think I’m a hottie. Mind-blowing, right?

So, let’s ask the big question:

Why did God (or The Universe, or Bob, or whatever you wanna call the cosmic prankster in charge of all this) give me this booty and this lovely smile?

I mean, the motherfucker could’ve put a little more effort into my rack, but whatever. Apparently, saggy milfy tits have their own erotic charm.

At first, I thought my purpose was to awaken souls. But what if my mission is simply… to awaken d1cks?🍆 Sorry, I mean, to make men happy?

Yes, you heard me.

What if the reason I’m here isn’t to carry the world’s suffering, but to enjoy the ever-loving shit out of this ride?

What if pleasure and not suffering is the real ascension?

Think about it.

Maybe spirituality doesn’t require meditating in a cave for 40 years. Maybe it’s in laughing, in moving, in feeling sexy, in eating that chocolate cake and licking your fingers because, guess what? The body is just as divine as the soul.

Maybe my true spiritual gift is this spiritual ass. 🍑 The divine feminine in a tight pair of jeans.

Maybe, just maybe… God gave me this booty so I could shake it joyfully, not carry the weight of the world on it.

And that, my dear ones, is my new spiritual path. Who's coming with me? Here’s a special link for you with a nerdy discount by the way 😏

So now that I’ve dropped this groundbreaking spiritual truth (that maybe I wasn’t sent here to save the world, but to enjoy the hell out of it) let’s talk about what that actually means.

Because I know some of you are scratching your head and whispering, But Miss, isn’t spirituality about enlightenment, discipline, self-sacrifice?

Bitch, no.

We’ve been brainwashed. Both ways. By the system and by the anti-system. Conditioned to believe that being worthy requires struggle. That pleasure must be earned. That suffering somehow makes you pure. And that having sexual needs is either shameful or sacred, depending on who’s controlling the narrative. Fuck the narrative, whichever way it comes.

Tell me, in what fucking universe does hating your life make you holy?

Do you think Source (that infinite intelligence that created galaxies, orgasms, and puppies) wants you to walk around like a sad little monk denying yourself joy?

HELL. NO.

I mean, have you seen a sunset? Have you felt goosebumps when someone kisses your neck just right? Have you ever put a piece of chocolate in your mouth and let it melt while your eyes roll back in existential pleasure?

That’s God. That’s divinity.

And here’s the kicker: joy is magnetic.

When you’re radiating pleasure, when you’re in your body, when you’re fully here enjoying the shit out of life… the world opens up for you. You manifest effortlessly. People are drawn to you.

So tell me again, why the fuck are we all running around miserable?

Stop Torturing Yourself, You Dumbass

Yes, I am talking to myself, not insulting you.

I am the dumbass (pretty ass but dumb).

“Stop making everything a fucking contradiction”. Because guess what? You are ALLOWED to have fun.

You are allowed to take naps in the middle of the day. You are allowed to flirt with strangers for no reason. You are allowed to love your own body, no matter how much it jiggles. You are allowed to be rich and sexy and unapologetically turned on by life.

You don’t have to “earn” it. You don’t need permission.

And before you say, But Miss, isn’t this just toxic positivity? No, baby, it’s toxic negativity to believe you have to suffer to be valuable.

If you’re gonna be alive anyway, you might as well enjoy the ride.

So What’s Next?

For me? I’m done dimming myself. Done feeling guilty for existing in pleasure.

I’m not here to fix people. I’m not here to rescue anyone.

I’m here to be fully me wild, weird, sexy, unfiltered, spiritually ridiculous. To be an example of what happens when you stop forcing life and start riding the wave like a hot little surfer of the universe.

For you? Well, that’s your call.

You can keep sitting in your little cage, waiting for life to start.

Or…

You can shake your ass, say “fuck it,” and start living like you mean it.

I know what I’m choosing.

Stay tuned for a new Erotica Story that I am finishing ✍🏻 based on real life events 😉

Love,

Rose 🌹