Sex, sexuality and sexualization
Weekly Letter, 27th September, 2024
Today is all about sex so buckle up.
I chose the name Midlife Erotica for very obvious reasons:
I am 50 and that is definitely “midlife”
I officially make a living around “sex” and erotica sounds and fits better with what I actually do.
What do you ACTUALLY do, girl?
First of all and to be clear what I do is study myself and get to know who I really am.
WTF! - says whoever…
Yes, that is what I do. As weird as it may sound.
However, that activity in itself does not pay my bills, you know.
And so that is where the EROTICA comes in.
Here’s how I describe and differentiate:
SEX vs EROTICA
Sex has no other purpose than physical arousal and, eventually, orgasm.
It is a primal exchange of energy (trying to be concise here but we could elaborate much more).
Erotica, however, adds art, mystery and imagination.
It involves the emotions and stirs the soul.
How does that look in terms of creating online adult content?
If you are creating pure sexual content, it is going to be direct, raw and, often, mindless.
An example of this would be the following:
“Hey Babe (there’s always a “babe”😆), watch me banged by a huge 16” in the shower”
or
“Which hole would you f*ck first ? Mouth, Ass or Pu$$ y ?
(these are real captions I have seen).
And yes, guilty! 🙋🏻♀️ I started doing that back in 2019-20 (and you can still find some of that content on my OF which is about to turn 5 🎂).
Which is absolutely fine to do if you want to, don’t get me wrong.
I also did a few things that are kind of crazy but I’ll reserve that for story time in the right places🤭.
Now…what’s happened, why am I writing in past tense?
Because as a result of the activity above mentioned (the one that brings no income🫥) I have profoundly changed, evolved, transformed…
Grown
It is called personal development, by the way.
And now I lean more towards erotica where, instead of being directly aimed to the physical relief (not that it is no present) goes more deeper into more sort of a connection.
More of a teasing, artful, mindful content (that’s how I describe it).
Another way to make this distinction would be saying ‘sex’ is ‘hardcore porn’ and ‘erotica’ is ‘softcore’.
Anyways…the thing is I have had one (ONE! 😅) long-term subscriber being annoyed by this evolution and another two have acknowledged to ‘miss’ the old me sometimes BUT they still love me🥹.
Note that is 3 people out of hundreds so, in perspective, a drop in the ocean.
I continue to be praised every day by the majority so I must be doing something well
(let me share some reviews here😃)
I have many more.
Sexuality
So this brings me to an interest in sexuality that I have developed after these 5 years of working ‘in the field’.
If we describe sexuality as a deeply personal expression of one's desires, attractions, and intimate identity which, not only covers physical pleasure but emotional connection, we realise is not only about ‘sex’.
It is an experience.
And it differs from one person to another depending of their feelings, cultural influences and personal exploration over time.
It is such a broad concept!
I could be talking (well, writing) forever.
But the thing is that, after many conversations (and questions I ask all the time😆), my personal experience and the people around me, I have come to the conclusion that we don’t experience sexuality as FREE human beings.
The last 2,000 years especially have completely messed it up.
Very few people can openly talk about sexuality without blushing and/or feeling some type of shame and guilt.
That sucks and I have made my goal to try and change that.
(I know, right?🙄Brave or stupid?).
And how are you going to do that Smartie-panties? - says somebody.
I don’t have a fucking clue but I am totally confident it will come to me.
“I have the WHAT, the HOW will be provided by the Universe”
(I’ll get a little metaphysical now but just a little)
I am going to give you in one sentence the solution to all (yes, ALL) of your issues.
Whichever these may be: personal, career, relationship, health…
“Know Thyself”
And what really gets me staggered is how on earth we have come to this stage as humanity ignoring the ancient wisdom!!??
I cannot believe it.
You only need to look around in the material world to see how everything is slowly falling apart.
But the key thing is that it is not out there where you need to put your focus, but inside of yourself.
I’ll stop this now but stay tuned if you are interested in all this (mind-blowing) stuff.
To my last concept:
Sexualization
It pisses me off.
Everything is sexualized in this society.
Advertisers (yes, those that don’t like my Youtube channel and reject me) use it aaaall the time.
They can. You don’t.
So there is this thing of ‘age restricted’ videos (most of mine) so children cannot watch them.
OK, fair enough.
But let me tell you something:
(Another first hand family experience, seen it with my eyes)
Kid is allowed to grab Dad’s tablet and spend time on Youtube.
Who’s signed in?
An over 18.
Who’s watching?
A 7 year old.
Factual fact.
So that takes me back to the ‘MASTERING OF ONESELF’ (it always does) and to be involved in some sort of personal development and self-awareness…
…enough to learn you don’t give a kid a tablet. Full stop.
What has this to do with it?
Sexualization comes from a mix of historical power dynamics, media influence, social conditioning, and psychological tendencies.
The patriarchal norms 🤮 have valued women for their appearance first and the media uses sex as a tool for attention and profit (did I say 🤮?).
Then the stigma, lack of empathy and emotional connection leads to objectification.
Sorry, love, but you are doing this yourself - says whoever.
I (sort of) am - says me - by choice and I’ll make a video about that soon 🤓
WE NEED CHANGE
We need to start valuing people for their full humanity, not just their sexual appeal, through love, empathy and compassion.
We need emotional education and soul connection.
Once in that place of higher consciousness (imagine zooming out enough to see things clearer and from a broad perspective) then we are in a position to, freely and guilt-free consume sexual content if that is your choice in the moment but don’t feel ‘addicted’ to it.
But, as I said, we are not experiencing sexuality as FREE BEINGS because it is pushed into us subtlety from every single angle.
It goes into the unconscious 24/7.
Having said that.
If you want the world to change, you need to change yourself.
All change happens within so, again, like the Dad who needs to learn why he had a kid in the first place if he does not know how to educate, you need to learn to make the best use of your power (your life force) in order to grow and find what is inside yourself that makes you choose what you choose.
Sex Dolling
Just a quick mention of my last video sponsored by Tantaly (this link also helps paying my bills by the way) about ‘Sex Dolling’.
To each their own.
No, I don’t encourage anyone to use a doll, it is your (hopefully conscious) choice.
However, for some may be a God-sent and may be a way to calm the frustration, resentment or unhappiness for not having anyone to have sex with and/or fulfil a fantasy or simply have the experience.
Again, let’s not shame or judge but accept and let people live their lives, shall we?
If you wanna learn a bit about how it all started click here (as it is an age-restricted video, it cannot be shown in here).
That’s all for today friends, I wish you have a great weekend 🤗
Love,
Rose 🌹