That jolly season 🙄

Weekly Letter, December 13, 2024

Maybe you are preparing for the Christmas season.

Or maybe you’re totally not.

Is it you who organise the whole thing or is it your significant other?

Are you one of those families who gather every Christmas and repeat exactly the same patterns and behaviours?

(including having to put up with people you don’t really attune with?)

Or one of those people who spend it alone (or almost) and don’t give much of a damn?

I find it really fascinating and since learning to see what’s behind the ‘celebration’ even more.

I grew up celebrating Christmas as a family gathering, lots of food, tree, presents, etc…the whole lot.

And so, when I had my own family…I carried on.

Today my teen boy told me to please “do as usual with the presents”.

What does this mean?

Well, they know I have changed (although they have no clue how much!),

and sense that I am “all in” for a shift and, therefore, a change in those things that do not make sense.

And buying lots of presents that you don’t really need in this time and age does not make sense to me anymore 😖

I could not help to express that in this video the other day on my channel (despite being a stocking Try On 😆😅).

Long story short.

You’re not the only sucker forced to do things that you don’t want to do or see people you don’t want to see… I am too.

So there you go…December the 13th and it is time for me to start the “getting presents” race so I can “do as usual” one more year.

My take?

Happily excited by choice

Well, instead of looking at it as a bad negative thing.

• I hate this! Why do I have to…!? Blah, blah… - kind of useless mindfuck head talk.

You know I use a lot the word “choice” and so I choose to happily “feel the excitement” of doing it because of my children…who I happened to bring to this world without they even asking to come.

That’s called an effective way to manage your emotions and your power in this life of form in my humble opinion (although there is a shadow of people-pleasing that I am working on as well).

My friend

I have seen a friend this week. She’s Spanish as well but, in her case, she’s married to a British guy (and therefore to his British family 🤣).

It was really shocking to find out the dynamics of that particular family…you know all those things I mention above.

One hating the other, lots of judgements, different worldviews, unresolved past situations pestering inside, resentment…

BUT

On Christmas/Boxing day “we give expensive cards (don’t you there buying a card at Tesco’s!) to everyone, we eat this and that, we exchange presents, we laugh, we drink, we sing… and we forget our differences.”

Life is so good, right?

Tomorrow we’ll go back to that place of resentment but just…not today.

Note the bolded WE.

We, the tribe, the family, the tradition, the “as usual”, the “why things never change?”…

Things never change because you don’t want to change.

Because you are scared of ‘leaving the tribe mind’, scared of being different, scared of being alone…

THE tribe

Honestly?

You might not be who I am describing here (although I feel we all are at some point in our lives).

If that’s the case, super-congratulations!!🥳

If you are somehow forced to ANYTHING during this holiday season…then keep reading a little.

The power of YOU

I’ll share with you my personal experience in this exact case (not necessarily at Christmas time but toxic family gatherings).

I love my family (yes, I do, not being sarcastic here).

But I can see through them and I can see the “tribe mind” fully operating.

So, before one of this gatherings, just prepare yourself mindfully.

If you don’t, you’ll be drained.

It’s like knowing that is going to snow today and going for a hike in your bath suit.

How silly, right?

So sit with yourself and use your imagination.

Haven’t you thought about why we have such a powerful one that allows us to be in our couch and close our eyes and see ourselves in a sandy beach in Hawaii drinking from a coconut and feeling the sun in our face?

That’s the mental realm and your mental body.

You cannot see it or touch it, but it is totally there!

Anyway…

Imagine you have a shield (yes, literally), like one of those ancient knights.

It is invisible in the earth plane and the world of form but it is there in the metaphysical realm.

And say a few words (this is totally up to you how you feel comfortable doing it) it can be whispering or just in your head.

“I call upon this protective energy to guard my heart and mind during our gathering. I’ll be centered in my own Truth”

You and your armour

This is just an example.

What!? You think it does not work?

Yes, it does.

And it’s not just a barrier, it’s a space where you can remain authentic and safe.

The power of this visualization lies in its ability to shift your mindset.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed or in a bad mood, you can approach the gathering with a sense of readiness.

My Own Example

When I attend this kind of gatherings I say to myself:

“In this space, I will listen more than I speak. I will engage only in the conversations that uplift me and step away from the rest.”

This is called a decreet by the way.

Does it totally fully work?

I said yes!

BUT it is true that it can be difficult to maintain when your brother-in-law (or whoever) starts talking about politics, the government or how fucked up everything is and that the world is going to explode in a few weeks…

Then you repeat your decreet in your head and, in extreme situations, just step outside and breath, it’ll soon be over 😉

The takeaway is: Your decree can serve you as a guide for how you want to navigate the space.

You’ll find empowerment in stepping back from conflicts that don’t serve you, and allowing for a more enjoyable time with those you love.

Everyone does the best they can

And this is what has tremendously helped me personally.

Is that person offending or triggering you actually meaning to?

Well, only if you allow that to be the case.

You decide whether their comment affects you or not.

But there’s more.

Even if you successfully manage your emotions and shield yourself from “emotional bullets”, it could happen that you still keep some sort of resentment.

This is lethal for your survival here on earth. It consumes you.

So think this:

That person only can do/say/think…what’s in their level of consciousness, in their reality, in their worldview, in their mindset (probably tribal)… they are doing their best, only…

THAT is their best 🙁

This idea is profoundly liberating.

And it seems I am talking about the holiday season and gatherings during this time, right?

I AM NOT.

You can apply this to every single situation in life: co-workers, neighbours, friends, and yes, the biggie, your relationship, your partner.

Did you know it is absolutely natural (and God forbid so necessary!) to grow apart?

It happens to almost everyone at some point.

Practical example.

Partner does not want intimacy anymore

So common, right?

So one partner loses interest in intimacy and neglects the other’s needs.

The hurt partner feels rejected and frustrated.

How can this “everyone does the best they can” help?

Well, understanding that they might be (well, let’s be honest, they ARE) dealing with personal issues - stress, insecurity, or their own emotional struggles - that lead them to prioritize their comfort.

This behavior doesn’t excuse their lack of consideration but reveals their limited perspective and ability to connect.

Now, the hurt partner has a choice (always!):

they can either communicate their feelings and needs, seeking a constructive dialogue and reaching an agreement to try again

OR

they might decide to leave if their emotional needs continue to be ignored.

• “Hey Rose, you’re not throwing much light here, dear!”

The light comes now… whatever happens: stay or leave comes with love and no resentment, blaming, shaming, hating…

But instead, by understanding that everyone operates from their “best they can” level of consciousness, ideally you then see it through compassion, forgiveness and love.

“Our time together has been great but it isn’t working anymore for any of us so let’s move on and go find our new path. I wish you’re happy”.

Isn’t it beautiful?

“Enough is a feast”

Well, I might be extending this letter too much.

And I thought I would send a short one because I am in pain!

Funny life.

Yes, I have never had a toothache in my 50 years on Earth…until now.

What is it? No idea, hopefully, the dentist will tell me today.

I was such in pain yesterday that I decided to film one of my rambling videos regardless (brave me!).

Why we only realise that absolutely nothing else matters in life but your health WHEN you are ill??

FFS, how annoying!

The phrase “enough is a feast” is apparently an old English saying that I never heard before and I love it now!

Anyway, the video sucks big time but since you are so nice to me, you’ll watch it.

I am joking 😆

That’s the best I can do…today.

Wishing you a great weekend as usual.

Love,

Rose 🌹