There is always another way
Weekly Letter, 11th October, 2024
I hope everyone is OK in Florida, many of you live there đ„č
In case you donât know yetâŠI have never been to AmericaâŠphysically.
When I was a teenager I lived there in my mind đ.
No joke. I was obsessed.
I thought of it as the âPromised Landâ where all dreams come true.
Always thought I had been born in the âwrong placeâ and probably at the âwrong timeâ also.
You know that movie with Robert Mitchum and Marilyn Monroe?
âRiver of No returnâ
(I know, old as f*ck, 1954 to be precise)
Thatâs the kind of person I thought in my mind I should have been born as:
A dancehall singer who, in a way, wakes up to her power and falls in love with a âreal manâđ
In case you havenât watched and enjoy the âoldiesââŠ
Itâs a powerful portrayal of how masculine and feminine traits can complement and enrich one another when in harmony đ
(Sigh)
Beautiful!
*Listen to me singing a Capela at the bottom of this email for you đ€©
But no, I was born somewhere in the Mediterranean coast, in the ugliest town and had a huge lack of self-esteem and self-confidence.
Thatâs the truth I constructed.
I wanted to be Marilyn Monroe (later on would be Madonna) and when I looked in the mirror, I saw something like this:
The âwrongâ was in my mind (as everything is).
But the truth is that I felt smallâŠreally small and insignificant.
Nudity
At that time being naked would have been like being punished and ridiculed.
I would have freaked out so badly, OMG!
And do you want to know something?
I had the smokiest hottest most amazing body ever!
I just didnât think I did.
My b00bies?
Oh my freaking GodâŠthose were the most perfect peaches ever!
Perfect medium size and shape, firmâŠabsolutely beautiful! A work of art.
(not to be mean but I had a friend - bless her - who had a pair of really ugly tits, the shape was just weird and she had nasty hair around her nip. She was my same age.)
But yetâŠI did not think I was pretty at all đ«
That perception of myself did last for many years (and a few partners)âŠuntil I was in my late 40s đ€Ż
What changed?
The perception of myself.
How?
By working inwards instead of outwards.
It was never about losing weight, or getting rid of my cellulite, or having a smaller ass, or being tallerâŠor even being a famous singer (as opposed to the mediocre pseudo-singer I was).
It was about self-awareness and acceptance of who I am.
Miss Dawson âthe Coachâđ«Ł
You know how people who do âcoachingâ (new word for what always was âcounsellingâ) typically âteachâ or help others based on own experience?
(or so it should be if you ask me)
I have been doing this unofficially in the background for a while and, as I mentioned in an early Letter, I was taking a course in counselling (course, not a Phd, lol).
It was messages like this one that âmade me do itâ:
Cody replied to one of my July letters and his message really got me thinking so much!
(Sorry Cody I did not got back to you back then because boundaries are needed for a healthy existence on this planet Earth)
As mentioned before, I reserve the communication 1-1 to my paid pages, it is only fair since I would not have a life if I had to reply every single email or message I receive đ«
I have cropped the rest of his email for privacy and not giving away unnecessary information but those first words say SO MUCH!
Heâs scared of the unknown and heâs worried about taking any decision that challenges or disrupts the life heâs built.
We all are. Thatâs survival human instinct.
The fear of uncertainty makes us stay stuck in an uncomfortable and unhappy situation.
We donât realize that itâs all about swapping a PERMANENT uncomfortable situation for a TEMPORARY one.
The current situation causes unhappiness but comfort.
Youâre safe but unhappy.
A NEW situation would cause happiness (eventually) and temporary discomfort.
Youâd be uncomfortable but happier.
Wrong Perception
So remember what I said about the perception of myself back then?
Apply it here.
Your perception is that if you change things and take difficult decisions, everything is going to be a mess and youâre gonna harm yourself and others (partner, childrenâŠ).
And, honestly, depending HOW you do this, yes, that could be the case.
What if I tell you that âŠ
âTHERE IS ANOTHER WAYâ
Let me explain a little.
We have been programmed to believe marriage is forever and divorce is a failure.
Without going too personal, the (hurtful) sentence I was told when I took the decision to end my marriage was:
âYou have broken a family. You must be very proudâ
It was really painful to hearâŠbut I archived that sentence in my âwords to reflect onâ folder in my brain (yes, I have lots of folders there).
Fast forward this thing we call time and a lot of reflection andâŠ
Voila, I realized that sentence wasnât actually true and it was only someone elseâs perception.
I never broke a family, I just ended a marriage.
And I wasnât proud of that but proud of myself for stepping out of the comfort and go against conventional beliefs and actions.
A family cannot be broken but a marriage can and MUST END when it is not working anymore
And that is, my friends, what this current society needs to learn and integrate.
I have known countless couples breaking up and going through hell (and some people still think hell comes after you die! đ€Ł)
THIS does not have to be the case.
You have choice.
You can always break-up with LOVE.
How can you possibly hate a person you have had children with?!
First off and generally, whatever you do to the âotherâ, you are doing to âyouâ.
But, specifically, whatever you do to the âother parentâ, you are doing to your children.
If only people realized that!
I have now had a close couple doing exactly what I just described and they are very grateful for the inspiration we (me and my ex) have provided them with.
I have just decided that Iâll share the story because the more people do it âthe other wayâ, the better society weâll help to build.
And we are all in desperate need of a personal shift to keep up with the Universeâs itself âš
No spiciness today??
No, I donât feel like it.
But hereâs a nugget on âHow To Balance Sex and Daily Lifeâ đ€©
I hope you have an amazing weekend and, if you resonate with Codyâs story, donât hesitate to reply đ
I am here to listen.
You can listen to my singing here as well: River of No Return
Love,
Rose đč