There is always another way

Weekly Letter, 11th October, 2024

I hope everyone is OK in Florida, many of you live there 🥹

In case you don’t know yet…I have never been to America…physically.

When I was a teenager I lived there in my mind 😂.

No joke. I was obsessed.

I thought of it as the “Promised Land” where all dreams come true.

Always thought I had been born in the ‘wrong place’ and probably at the “wrong time“ also.

You know that movie with Robert Mitchum and Marilyn Monroe?

“River of No return”

(I know, old as f*ck, 1954 to be precise)

That’s the kind of person I thought in my mind I should have been born as:

A dancehall singer who, in a way, wakes up to her power and falls in love with a “real man”😅

In case you haven’t watched and enjoy the “oldies”…

It’s a powerful portrayal of how masculine and feminine traits can complement and enrich one another when in harmony 😍

(Sigh)

Beautiful!

*Listen to me singing a Capela at the bottom of this email for you 🤩

But no, I was born somewhere in the Mediterranean coast, in the ugliest town and had a huge lack of self-esteem and self-confidence.

That’s the truth I constructed.

I wanted to be Marilyn Monroe (later on would be Madonna) and when I looked in the mirror, I saw something like this:

Self-version of myself at 15

The “wrong” was in my mind (as everything is).

But the truth is that I felt small…really small and insignificant.

Nudity

At that time being naked would have been like being punished and ridiculed.

I would have freaked out so badly, OMG!

And do you want to know something?

I had the smokiest hottest most amazing body ever!

I just didn’t think I did.

My b00bies?

Oh my freaking God…those were the most perfect peaches ever!

Perfect medium size and shape, firm…absolutely beautiful! A work of art.

(not to be mean but I had a friend - bless her - who had a pair of really ugly tits, the shape was just weird and she had nasty hair around her nip. She was my same age.)

But yet…I did not think I was pretty at all 🫠

That perception of myself did last for many years (and a few partners)…until I was in my late 40s 🤯

What changed?

The perception of myself.

How?

By working inwards instead of outwards.

It was never about losing weight, or getting rid of my cellulite, or having a smaller ass, or being taller…or even being a famous singer (as opposed to the mediocre pseudo-singer I was).

It was about self-awareness and acceptance of who I am.

Miss Dawson “the Coach”🫣

You know how people who do ‘coaching’ (new word for what always was ‘counselling’) typically “teach” or help others based on own experience?

(or so it should be if you ask me)

I have been doing this unofficially in the background for a while and, as I mentioned in an early Letter, I was taking a course in counselling (course, not a Phd, lol).

It was messages like this one that “made me do it”:

Cody replied to one of my July letters and his message really got me thinking so much!

(Sorry Cody I did not got back to you back then because boundaries are needed for a healthy existence on this planet Earth)

As mentioned before, I reserve the communication 1-1 to my paid pages, it is only fair since I would not have a life if I had to reply every single email or message I receive 🫠

I have cropped the rest of his email for privacy and not giving away unnecessary information but those first words say SO MUCH!

He’s scared of the unknown and he’s worried about taking any decision that challenges or disrupts the life he’s built.

We all are. That’s survival human instinct.

The fear of uncertainty makes us stay stuck in an uncomfortable and unhappy situation.

We don’t realize that it’s all about swapping a PERMANENT uncomfortable situation for a TEMPORARY one.

The current situation causes unhappiness but comfort.

You’re safe but unhappy.

A NEW situation would cause happiness (eventually) and temporary discomfort.

You’d be uncomfortable but happier.

Wrong Perception

So remember what I said about the perception of myself back then?

Apply it here.

Your perception is that if you change things and take difficult decisions, everything is going to be a mess and you’re gonna harm yourself and others (partner, children…).

And, honestly, depending HOW you do this, yes, that could be the case.

What if I tell you that …

“THERE IS ANOTHER WAY”

Let me explain a little.

We have been programmed to believe marriage is forever and divorce is a failure.

Without going too personal, the (hurtful) sentence I was told when I took the decision to end my marriage was:

“You have broken a family. You must be very proud”

It was really painful to hear…but I archived that sentence in my “words to reflect on” folder in my brain (yes, I have lots of folders there).

My brain

Fast forward this thing we call time and a lot of reflection and…

Voila, I realized that sentence wasn’t actually true and it was only someone else’s perception.

I never broke a family, I just ended a marriage.

And I wasn’t proud of that but proud of myself for stepping out of the comfort and go against conventional beliefs and actions.

A family cannot be broken but a marriage can and MUST END when it is not working anymore

And that is, my friends, what this current society needs to learn and integrate.

I have known countless couples breaking up and going through hell (and some people still think hell comes after you die! 🤣)

THIS does not have to be the case.

You have choice.

You can always break-up with LOVE.

How can you possibly hate a person you have had children with?!

First off and generally, whatever you do to the “other”, you are doing to “you”.

But, specifically, whatever you do to the “other parent”, you are doing to your children.

If only people realized that!

I have now had a close couple doing exactly what I just described and they are very grateful for the inspiration we (me and my ex) have provided them with.

I have just decided that I’ll share the story because the more people do it “the other way”, the better society we’ll help to build.

And we are all in desperate need of a personal shift to keep up with the Universe’s itself ✨

No spiciness today??

No, I don’t feel like it.

But here’s a nugget on “How To Balance Sex and Daily Life” 🤩

I hope you have an amazing weekend and, if you resonate with Cody’s story, don’t hesitate to reply 😘

I am here to listen.

You can listen to my singing here as well: River of No Return

Love,

Rose 🌹