Till LIFE Do Us Part

Rethinking marriage through the lens of Eros

Most marriages don’t end.
They power down.

No explosion.
No affair.
No dramatic goodbye.

Just two people quietly agreeing (without ever saying it out loud)
to stop being fully alive together.

And somehow, we’ve decided this is normal.

We were made to promise “till death do us part”.
But nobody warned us about the part where life leaves first.

Where touch becomes optional and desire feels inconvenient.
Where intimacy turns into something to avoid rather than move toward.

That’s not a failed marriage.
That’s a marriage that outlived the structure it was built inside.

Marriage Didn’t Fail.

It Stopped Making Sense

Marriage, as an institution, is obsolete.

Not because love is dead or because commitment doesn’t matter.

But because marriage was designed for a world that no longer exists.

A world of:
– survival
– economics
– fixed gender roles
– duty over desire

It was never designed to hold:
– emotional intimacy
– erotic aliveness
– personal evolution
– psychological truth

Yet we keep trying to force modern humans into ancient containers.

And when it doesn’t work, we blame ourselves.

That’s cognitive dissonance.

Because questioning marriage itself would mean questioning everything we were taught about love, success, and being a “good adult.”

So we don’t.

We normalize numbness instead.

The Lie We Call Stability

Most sexless marriages look perfectly fine from the outside.

Children are fed.
Bills are paid.
Holidays are documented.

Nothing is wrong enough to justify leaving.

And yet, behind closed doors, something essential has disappeared.

Not just sex.

Life.
Eros.
Presence.
Curiosity.
The feeling of being wanted (and wanting back!).

I Didn’t Know I Was in One

Until I Couldn’t Un-See It

I grew up believing adults had a secret world behind bedroom doors.

Something exciting and alive.

Then, in my teens, my mum told me the truth.

Behind closed doors, she endured years of duty sex.
Sex as obligation and emotional survival.

I thought I’d break that cycle simply by enjoying sex myself and for a while, I did.

Until life happened.

Children.
Exhaustion.
Identity erosion.

One day, I realized sex had become irrelevant to me. Not in a painful or traumatic way.

Just… gone.

I even joked that I was “dead from the waist down” and we both laughed.

But one night, lying in bed, avoiding intimacy yet again, a thought cut through me:

*Is this going to be the rest of my life? Avoiding intimacy forever?*

That question terrified me more than leaving ever could.

Sexless Doesn’t Mean Sexless

A marriage can be sexually active and still be sexless.

Because sex without Eros is not intimacy. It’s maintenance.

And maintenance slowly turns into quiet resentment.

The kind that reshapes who you are without you noticing.

You become smaller.
Less curious.
Less alive.

Why We Stay

We stay because:
– children
– finances
– fear
– identity
– guilt
– social pressure

And because telling the truth would force change.

And change threatens the illusion of stability we were taught to worship.

Till LIFE Do Us Part

What if the real vow was never about death?

What if it was about aliveness?

What if relationships were meant to last as long as they nourish life -
and transform when they don’t?

This doesn’t mean everyone should leave.

But it does mean every sexless marriage needs TRUTH.

Especially the ones that stay together.

I’m writing a guide about this.

Not to tell people what to do but to help them see clearly.

Because not every sexless marriage needs to end.

But every sexless marriage needs honesty.

Well, actually, all of us need radical honestly but man! It is HARD.

Love,

Rose 🌹